So, in the aftermath, or rather, duringmath, that was the internet insurrection led by The Stevolution (and a few others) to protest against the evils of SOAP SOPA, there was another interesting online-ish incident that occurred.
Kim Schmitz, who legally, not to mention douchebaggedly, changed his surname to Dotcom, was arrested recently on charges of criminal copyright infringement thanks to the website he created and ran called Megaupload.com. What is it about guys names Kim?
The sprawling Dotcomopolis
Now, what is holy-fuck-me-awesome about this whole story isn’t the fact that Megaupload, through its leaders’ allegedly nefarious dealings, reportedly took away $500 million from starving actors in Hollywood, or that the site garnered upwards of $175 million in earnings, or that the raided house in question was worth $30 million, or even that Dickcom himself is worth $40 million from the site.
Hell, it’s not even because, during the raid, 20 of his cars (which included a classy pink Cadillac) were impounded, some which had the following personalized plates: HACKER, STONED, MAFIA and, as one would expect, GOD. Although, that is pretty hilarious.
No, the best thing about all of this is something I found on a news article posted HERE on Yahoo.com, which stated, quite simply:
“[Dotcom] had tried to evade capture by hiding behind an elaborate network of electronic defenses in his mansion.”
Now, photos from the FBI-led raid on Dotcom’s New Zealand mansion and assets are limited, but the following image of the event was leaked exclusively to The Stevolution …
Nothing says "deathtrap" like cupcakes!
Okay, I’d like to take a minute here to … well, I’d just like to thank Jesus, you know? Thanks, Jesus, for making this real.
Kingpin, pictured smoking a Baby Ruth
Okay, just so we’re all clear here, Kim Dotcom is a FUCKING SUPERVILLAIN. This is a man who walks within the storied footsteps of Villainy greats, like Doctor Doom, Kingpin (left) and of course, Kite-Man.
During the fracas, he reportedly activated mechanized locks, a secret safe room, deathbots (unconfirmed) and was finally found facing police with a solid-gold, laser-sighted sawed-off shotgun, which was neither solid-gold nor laser-sighted, but was indeed sawed-off.
Seriously this guy’s like Scarface, if, instead of buying a tiger, Tony Montana just got fat … and turned German. Dotcom (doesn’t get any less douchey) has been convicted, and quite proud of his past involvement in embezzlement and cyber crime, and he recently deemed himself smarter than Bill Gates.
That’s the kind of ridiculously villainous bravado you can set your watch to – and we here at The Stevolution respect that. So have a drink on me, Kim Dotcom, and try not to get too raped in prison.
If you’re reading this … you ARE the Stevolution!
